


A Sense of Home

by turtleeden



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Comfort/Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Good times, Joker Exploration: The Beginning, beneath the mask definitely helped with this though, remember when my stuff used to be relatively short?, that's gonna be some project, the next one will be lighter in tone i promise you, there's a little sprinkle about joker's parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 17:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14835701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtleeden/pseuds/turtleeden
Summary: As the two of them spend a quiet, rainy afternoon together in the diner, Ann asks Akira if he misses his hometown. The result is... more than what she bargained for, but maybe opening up is something he's been needing a long time ago.





	A Sense of Home

“Do you miss it?”

“...Miss what?”

“Home.”

Akira fell silent for a moment, his fingers idly drumming against his forearm as he sat in the diner with Ann. He had a pensive expression upon his face, his brows bending into a light frown and his lips thinning. Strange… the obvious answer to give here would be: _“Of course I do.”_ He didn’t ask to be sent to Tokyo. He didn’t ask to be thrown into a shitty situation that had altered his previous way of life and his life going onward. His hometown didn’t have much, but still… Akira had once thought that he would rather be home in a familiar setting than be completely lost and alone in the big city where no one wanted anything to do with him.

...at least, in the beginning. Now?

The obvious answer didn’t come to him.

Akira shrugged his shoulders as he turns his head towards one of the windows, watching the afternoon rain beat against the glass. Ann had noticed that whenever Akira would attempt to open his mouth to speak, he pauses. It was a brief beat of contemplation before he closes his mouth again, remaining silent. This happens once… and then twice, and then a third time before he would shrug to himself again. Her brows furrowed into a light frown as she watched him move, his usual forwardness shifting into a feeling of strong uncertainty. At times, Akira’s silence can speak louder than anything that he can say out loud. And Ann could feel her heart sinking as she felt the heaviness of his feelings while they sat. When Akira returns his focus towards her, his eyes looked… distant, as if he was looking through her. His gaze seemed to pass everything in front of him, looking into the distance as if the answer was way beyond his reach.

“...I don’t know.” he admitted, his voice soft and low.

Ann’s lips thinned as her fingers tapped against her half-full glass of iced tea. “I always wondered about this… Don’t you have any friends back home?” she asked curiously.

Akira shook his head. “...Not really.” he replied. “I mean, yeah… I did hang out with a few people back home at times, but we were never that close. Our… ‘relationships’ weren’t like the ones I have with you, or Ryuji, or everyone else. I wouldn’t exactly call them friends.” Akira averts his gaze from her and stared at the window. Slowly, his jaw began to clench as he shook his head again. “Besides… they probably already dropped me like a bad habit when I got arrested.” he mumbled bitterly.

Ann was at a loss for words.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to bring up such a heavy subject.” she apologized sadly. “You don’t really talk about your hometown much, but I guess that’s unsurprising… considering how you got here and all.”

Akira shook his head again. This time Ann felt like he was actually looking at her this time when he returned his focus towards her. “Don’t be sorry.” he assured. “I guess it’s not fair to leave out things about myself when you’ve shared a lot about yourself with me already.”

“Yeah, but… it’s painful for you, isn’t it?” she asked.

“...Maybe.” he admitted, his expression solemn. “I guess that I…” He stops suddenly, eyes averting from her once more to fall upon his now clenching hands. His fingers had long since halted its aimless rhythm against his arm. His body language becomes more and more closed off… and Ann couldn’t help but notice that Akira looked so… small here. The conversation falls into an uneasy silence. Akira narrowed his eyes at himself, hating that he was acting like this. He heaves a long, drawn out sigh… trying to allow himself to be more at ease before he tried to continue on.

“...Akira?” Ann began, looking at him with concern clear upon her face. Akira shook his head as he returned his focus towards her.

“Sorry…” he began. “I’ve just been pushing it down for a while... trying hard not to think about home until it’s actually time for me to go back. Eventually I ended up not thinking about it much at all… especially considering everything that we’ve been dealing with. I… haven’t even called my folks since I came here. And if I were to be completely honest… I haven’t thought about calling them at all.” It was then that Akira formed a sad smile, his voice growing softer as he spoke again as if he was afraid to admit the thought in his head.

“...That makes me horrible, doesn’t it?”

Ann’s brows furrowed, her lips trembling as she hastily brings her glass up to her lips. What did she just unleash here? “You’re nowhere near horrible…!” she assured him, the words coming to her immediately as she sets her glass back down. ( _She may not know much about Akira’s life in the past, but that feeling of dirtiness she could see in him when he mentioned he hasn’t talked to his family… Ann knew that feeling very well._ ) God… She didn’t think that asking if Akira missed home would be so deep a subject to trudge through. In his moment of honesty, Ann could feel a pit growing in her throat. And there was more to it that Akira hasn’t mentioned at all. She could feel it. How… how much has he been holding back? She was almost afraid to ask. “Your parents aren’t bad people, are they?” she then asked.

“No. Of course they aren’t.” Akira answered solidly. Now _that_ was an answer that he could answer immediately. “My mom and dad… they’re good, honest people. I can say that with confidence.”

“Well, that’s a relief…!” Ann sighed. In a world where they were changing the hearts of rotten adults, it was comforting to hear from Akira himself that his parents were good people. If nothing else… that was a great relief. Akira’s smile becomes more fond as he spoke more, occasionally fiddling with the ends of his thick glasses as he began to open up a little.

“To start… My dad’s a total softie that loves to laugh.” he began, with a soft glint to his eyes. “He has a government job that he’s had for years, and he can look dour at first glance, but trust me… His laugh is infectious. He likes jokes and likes to joke around with us to lighten the mood. He’s the type that even thinks Dad Jokes are funny… I swear, it can be so goddamn embarrassing at times. Especially when he laughs at his own lame jokes.”

“Aww, that’s adorable.” Ann mused with a smile.

“Not when you’re in the receiving end it’s not…!” Akira groaned.

“So says the almighty pun master.” she then pointed out, a teasing tone to her voice.

“That’s completely different…! A well-timed pun is definitely better than a lame Dad Joke.” he protested. Ann couldn’t help but laugh at all of the protesting that Akira was doing about something so silly.

“I think I have a better idea about where you get your sense of humor from.” she giggled. Akira could only pinch the bridge of his nose as he sighed, shaking his head. When Ann’s giggling eventually waned, she leans forward onto the table in great interest with her chin resting on her palm. “Okay, okay… tell me a little about your mom.” she encouraged. Akira’s smile grew even fonder at the mere thought of his mother, and he knew just where to start concerning her.

“My mom used to be into theater when she was younger.” he mentioned. “She had all sorts of props that she let me play in when I was younger. There were these masks with different expressions, top hats, capes, plastic wands… you name it. We’d act out little scenarios and improvise together. She even had these little scripts from her school days in storage that she’s never thrown out, and if my dad even tried to move one of them, she’d get on his case so bad.”

Ann laughed a bit then. “Your mom sounds awesome!” she said.

“She _is_ awesome.” Akira replied, chuckling a little.

“Does she work in theater now?”

“No… she never made it big like she wanted to. She took up different part-time jobs over the years, but she ended up maintenancing costumes and props for a fitting shop in town.” Akira lightly tapped the corners of his glasses in thought, pondering whether or not he wanted to go through with what he was currently thinking. Eventually he spoke once again, deciding upon acting on it. “Actually… these were her idea.”

“What was?” Ann asked.

Akira gave a small smile as he took off his glasses and held them out for Ann to take. She quirked a brow as she looked at him quizzically, wondering why he was suddenly giving her his glasses. He gestured his glasses towards her, letting her know that it was okay to take them. Still initially unsure, Ann reached over to take his glasses and leaned back in her seat. She looked at it with a confused look on her face as she examines it with care, not wanting to accidentally break Akira’s glasses and leave him blind.

“Uh, Akira? Why did you…?” she initially asked.

“Put ‘em on.” he said.

“Okay… but just so you know, this is weird.” Ann voiced. She makes a nervous hum as she slips the black glasses onto her face. Ann had expected to not be able to see a thing, her vision blurred when met with a different viewpoint… but when she looked up at Akira after she put his glasses on, she sat there dumbfounded at the fact that her very vision was crystal clear. 

“What the --” she muttered in disbelief. Ann frowned at herself, thinking that she was crazy at first. She raises the dark frames above her eyes as she kept her focus on Akira, then set them back down to compare… but there was no change. She did this a few times, her frown creasing deeper as she stared at him. No matter what she did, Ann’s vision was as normal as it always was. Which meant that for Akira…

“W-What the hell? Are these fake!?” she gasped. Akira couldn’t help but chuckle a little at her.

“One hundred percent fake.” he answered easily. “I can see just fine.”

“Um… Akira, what?” Ann asked in disbelief, her jaw dropping slightly in her shock. It especially didn’t help when she saw Akira form an amused smile on his face… ugh, this wasn’t _that_ funny! “Come on, don’t even try to laugh at this…! This is major! I mean, you’ve worn these things all of the time ever since I’ve met you and you’re telling me that they’re fake!?”

Despite her outburst telling him not to do so, Akira did indeed laugh. “Surprised?” he quipped.

“Um, duh! I don’t even know what to expect anymore! Your glasses are fake! What’s next? Is Makoto’s braid gonna be fake too?!” she exclaimed.

“You got me there,” he replied, still laughing at her overreaction. “You’re gonna have to ask her that.”

“Trust me, I plan to.” Ann huffed, pouting at Akira as he continued to laugh at her. He almost felt like handing his glasses over to her was worth it just to see the priceless look on her face. Eventually, he stopped laughing… and Ann moved on to ask something that she remembered he said before. It was something that, when she actually thought about it, sounded… strange.

“Why would your mom give you fake glasses?” she asked.

“So that I wouldn’t get punched in the face.” he answered.

“Huh?”

“You know what they say... _‘You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would you?’_ That’s what my mom said when she gave them to me. If I wear these, I’m less likely going to get punched in the face. I think at the time it was her attempt at a joke.”

Ann stiffed a laugh then. “Oh my god… that’s so cheesy.” she said.

“That’s what _I_ said.” Akira pointed out, causing Ann to laugh a little more. Akira himself chuckled a little bit then, a bit half-heartedly. But afterwards his gaze averted downwards as he reflects to himself for a bit… and ever so slowly, his expression began to fall.

“In truth… I think that my mom had the idea to give those glasses to me in order to try and give me an easier time when I came here. When I wear those… I don’t look too imposing or intimidating to others... You would never guess that a meek, nerdy kid with the huge thick glasses would be capable of doing something like an assault. I would fit right in without a fuss and go about my business…” 

Akira couldn’t help but scoff at the idea then, the corner of his lips twisting into a small scowl as his eyes darkened. “Some good that did. I could tell that my mom’s heart was in the right place, but... I don’t think she would’ve expected a sorry excuse for a teacher leaking my criminal record and the whole school treating me like an outcast the minute I walked through the door.”

“You shouldn’t even have to do all of that…” Ann said, her expression falling.

“...I know.” Akira replied, unable to help the bitterness seeping into his tone. “And they know too. But do you really think that this society gives a damn about that?”

“...” Ann could feel the air grow heavy once more, feeling another small taste of the gravity of what brought Akira here in the first place. When she first overheard him talking about how it all happened with the guys… she felt anger. Anger for Akira’s sake and what he went through that night. And a greater anger at whoever that creep was that set him up and was harassing that woman in the first place. That in particular hit way too close to home for her. Akira may not have remembered his face, but Ann couldn’t help but imagine Kamoshida’s image in that man’s place whenever she thought about it. It made her sick.

But here… when it was just the two of them sitting at a table together… this was different from before. This felt more personal. Akira’s pain felt more candid when he spoke just now. Ann could sense a little of his sadness, his bitterness, his inner frustration… and it made her stomach turn. It pissed her off so much that he had to go through all of these trials and endure all of that scrutiny for something that he didn’t even do. And she was partly pissed at herself for treating him so badly in the beginning. She had her own troubles with Kamoshida at the time, yes… but that was no excuse. Akira didn’t deserve that from her… and he didn’t deserve the bad hand that was dealt to him thanks to that false charge.

...but here he was, despite that. He’s been stealing hearts as a Phantom Thief, inviting courage and encouraging change into people wherever he went. Ann gladly counted herself as one of those people he’s helped encourage change. If he hadn’t come chasing after her that day when he did… she shuddered to think where she would be now. He didn’t have to do any of that… any of it! He just did it all because… he felt that it was right.

Akira… He really is amazing.

“Sorry, Ann…” he apologized, idly rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess this conversation took a darker turn than I expected.”

“What? Don’t be sorry…!” Ann exclaimed, her eyes widening a little at the fact he felt like he should apologize for opening up. She leans her body forward and reaches her arm over in order to rest her hand on top of his. She gives his hand a light squeeze as she looked him right in the eye. “I know how big a deal it is for you to open up at all… especially about something like this. But regardless on what the subject is, you shouldn’t be sorry about expressing how you feel.”

“Ann…?”

“You know… for an honest guy, you sure do close yourself off a lot.” Ann mentioned. She forms a sad smile as she stared into his gray eyes. So sharp and intense… but also so very clear as he stared back at her. He has such honest eyes… perhaps that was partly why his gaze is always so powerful. “I guess that’s understandable after seeing those you’d think would have a sense of justice let you down so royally… What you’ve been through… it’s painful. Even hearing about what happened hurts. And it pisses me off so much that you’ve been made to hide yourself because of something so unfair.”

“...”

“But in a way… I’m glad that we talked about all of this, even a little bit. I already have a good grasp about who you are now, but I feel like… I have a little idea about the you back then when you talked about your parents. I can always learn to understand you even better now when you open up to me.” Ann’s smile lightens a little as her thumb lightly rubbed against his hand. “Hehe… It sort of feels like the positions are reversed, doesn’t it? I’m usually the one opening up to you about my problems.”

“Heh… Imagine that.” Akira mused softly. He smiled as he flipped his hand over and squeezed her hand gently. “I lean on you, you know... More than you realize.”

“How so?”

“Just by being you, you help me. You and that big, empathetic heart of yours… you make me feel at ease. You have a knack of understanding how people feel… and I love that about you. You make me feel like I don’t always have to hold back… even when I have a bad habit of doing that anyway.”

“Oh, come on…” It was Ann’s turn to rub the back of her neck in her bashfulness. “I’m not even doing anything that special.”

“That’s because _you’re_ special.” Akira pointed out, smiling wider.

That earned a blush from her. “D-Don’t try and act all smooth now, Akira…!” she exclaimed.

“I’m just being honest.” he said simply. “Besides… didn’t you say that I could lean on you if I needed it?”

“...I did. And I meant that.” Ann reminded him. She huffed then, unable to make a solid comeback to his smooth and honest words. How does he even do that? Those honest, honeyed words of his flow through his mouth so naturally as if he always knew exactly what to say. And the kicker of it all is that Akira means it truthfully, and that was something that Ann couldn’t fight. Honesty rolled off Akira in waves, even when he doesn’t say anything at all. His happiness, his kindness, his charm, his courage, his anger, his frustrations, his underlying sadness… all of that she could feel from him was true and unbending. That was just how he is… and she loved him for that.

“...did they believe you?” she then asked, her tone a little quieter than it was previously. “Your parents…?”

Akira slowly nodded his head, closing his eyes as he sighed to himself. “Yeah… I had that as a small comfort at least… even when they couldn’t do anything.” His lips thinned into a thin smile as he reflected about his parents… his inner feelings swirling into a complex mix of longing, bitterness, disappointment, fear and sadness. Those feelings, along with the realization that he himself hasn’t been that forefront with them either, made Akira feel like he had a hole in his chest. Despite his complex feelings about his probation, his parents and hometown, and what happened… there was one, clear truth that Akira felt like he can admit here.

“...I miss them.” he said, his voice quiet. “...I think that they were my true sense of home. There’s nothing really there back in that town where I’m from, but… my family makes it home.”

Ann hummed sadly at that. A family being a sense of home… she couldn’t help but think about her own parents right then. Maybe that’s why her own sense of home was skewed a long time ago… her home was always far away from her reach while she remained in empty houses with rotating caretakers, moving about and starting over again and again. She shook her head then, not wanting to dwell upon that now. If she did, well… she didn’t know if she would be able to keep calm as she surprisingly has been all this time. Well… calm for her, at least.

“So, in a way… you _do_ miss home.” she confirmed.

“I do.” he replied, nodding again. “...but you know what?”

“What?”

“...You’re my home, too.”

Heat once again rises in her cheeks when she heard that, but this time she doesn’t huff in her embarrassment. Ann instead forms a warm smile as she bashfully looks up at him, her hand giving his another gentle squeeze. She opens her mouth to reply to his fond words, but all that fell from her lips was an embarrassed giggle. As she laughed, she felt Akira’s energy shift from the heaviness that was there before. She felt a sense of warmth, and it made her keep her smile.

“That’s kinda heavy, you know.” she finally spoke.

“Probably…” he admitted, his own smile turning bashful. “But you… and everyone else too, you’ve made that for me here.”

“...that feels so good to hear.” she replied, humming to herself as her eyes focused on their clasped hands. His hand felt as warm as the air around them, and his grip was gentle, yet firm. She was home to him… _Home._ The mere thought of that fact made her heart flutter. She didn’t think that she could become someone that important to him to make him feel that way, and yet…

“...Excuse me!”

Ann suddenly calls out to a waitress that was nearby. When she approaches the table that the two of them were in, Ann faces her with a cheerful expression on her face. “One chocolate shake, please! With two straws!” she requested. The waitress smiled and bowed before taking off to place her order, leaving the two of them alone once again. Akira, who had been silent throughout all of that, finally speaks up with a slightly confused look on his face.

“What’s the shake for?” he asked.

“I was just in the mood for chocolate.” she answered with ease. Ann closes an eye at him as she smiled. “Come on. We’re gonna share, right?”

He blinks for a few moments before the corners of his lips curved into an amused smirk. That Ann… she was trying to cheer him up. Akira lets out a brief chuckle, his posture easing into something more relaxed. “I’m paying.” he said.

“Aww, you don’t have to do that, you know.” Ann replied, shaking her head.

“I want to.” Akira affirmed, dead set on the matter.

“Hmm… tell you what: we’ll just split the bill for today. No paybacks. No fusses.” Ann offered. She didn’t want him to end up paying every time they go out together, especially since she was treating him with something as small as a shake. As if to seal this little agreement, Ann finally hands out his glasses across the table for him to take back. “Deal?”

“Heh… deal.” Akira agreed, taking back the thick frames from her. As he opened them up in order to put them back on, Ann added a little statement that made him pause.

“Y-You know… When it’s just the two of us, you can leave your glasses in your bag or something if you want to.” she voiced, nervously combing through the ends of her twintails. “I… I like your eyes. This may sound totally stupid, but… I like how clear they are.”

A light blush dusted upon Akira’s cheeks as he shook his head, his lips easing into a heartfelt smile. “It’s not stupid.” he assured, gently folding his glasses back up and keeping it in his hand. “...thanks, Ann. I’ll keep that in mind. Promise.”

Ann smiled at that. “Okay… Take your time.” she said. As if on cue, the waitress sets the chocolate shake in the middle of the table. When the two of them said their thanks and the waitress left them be, they took up their respective straws and began to enjoy their treat. Ann’s face brightens up as she emits a gleeful hum, and Akira only watches her with a smile upon his lips. She could feel his eyes upon her, and she looks over to see herself being met with a clear, warm gaze. Ann returns his smile with a bright one of her own, and the two of them continued their peaceful time in the diner until they saw the dusk-colored sky from outside, indicating that it was getting late. The two of them split their payment as agreed, and walked out to the train station together with Akira’s umbrella shielding the two of them from the light rain.

Ann couldn’t help but smile through it all. Perhaps Akira’s starting to become a sense of home for her, too.


End file.
